“It’s been a weird year.” I’m sure you’ve heard that bandied around, or some other, more colourful, phrasing. But with a year that has resulted in monumental shifts(and that has happened, despite the readily apparent commercialization of the pandemic, especially in the early days), it is perhaps worth looking back on a tumultuous year, it’s downsides and it’s upsides. First, I would like to say that it’s been a mixed bag for me. There were definitely moments where I could have capitalized on the opportunities given to me, much sooner and with much more efficiency than what I did. I spent a lot of moments obsessing over this person or that person, this thing or that thing, feeling sorry for myself, trying to find solace in the external when I should have been finding solace in myself. Even now, I find myself at risk of falling into that trap. However, even with that accounted for, I made some monumental gains in my development as an advocate. I may not have followed the instructions of someone like Joey Yap, the popular Chinese Astrologer, but…to be honest, is materialistic gain something anyone needs to be focusing on at this time? I mean, yes, materialistic, self invested gain can and did happen. But all the struggles of this year taught me something, about responsibility and compassion for humankind. Sounds kind of hokey, I guess. But it’s true. We saw a lot of needless suffering in this country at the hands of this pandemic. That was quite arguably the defining feature of the pandemic, for quite some time. It’s because of, not in spite of, the pandemic that we reached a reckoning with white supremacy after George Floyd’s murder. It was because of, not in spite of, the pandemic that we elected Biden, and more importantly, rejected white supremacy and nationalism and all those toxic things. And believe me, there are plenty of unresolved problems. But that has inspired me to get out of myself and to reach out even further to help and inspire others. And somehow, in the midst of all this obsessiveness, this tragedy and so on, I created a niche for myself as a writer and an advocate. But that’s not important. Though my own accomplishments and my own triumphs that were hidden from me in plain sight do bear some significance, what matters is this: We have seen the soul of our country, and it frightens some of us, deeply. But those of us that are frightened that deeply are not afraid to act. I know I’m not. And moreover, those of us that are not afraid to act, despite the fear, know how to reject the rhetoric of those who deny and irresponsibly contribute to our own demise.
My grandmother in India passed right around thanksgiving. In her sudden parting, she left a legacy that, even though it’s not a grand rousing saga of triumph, still manages to leave it’s mark in my soul. She was a giving woman, a loving, kind and compassionate woman who accepted her life’s struggles graciously. She was not one of those people that tries to live like they’ve still got a stake in achieving life when they know damn well that they’ve achieved it. Sure, she still cared about her life, she wasn’t a nihilist, and some of the things she couldn’t control bothered her, quite possibly, to her grave…her legacy of giving and sharing and compassion still lives on in me. I think, though I can’t be one hundred percent certain, that the words “battharamaaiyiru, veliye pogathey,” which I think roughly translates as, “Don’t worry about anything, be safe, Be careful,” or something along those lines, would be the words she wants everyone to live by, not just me or my father, or my relatives or whoever… even after passing from this earthly existence to whatever awaits her now. I’m not perfect, sometimes I fall short of that, but I think it’s an ideal to live by.
globalphreak 